Confessions of an Autodidact
Sometimes being an autodidact is rough on my significant others.
When I start researching something new, everything else falls by the wayside. In an attempt to gather as much pertinent information as quickly and efficiently as possible, gleaning the wheat and leaving the chaff, I scour the Internet, I buy magazines, I watch movies and TV programs relevant to the subject, and I comb my own library.
Now I am learning about creating art.
I already know a lot about art; my dad was a painter and cartoonist. I took basic design and enjoyed every art class I ever had. I even painted a pretty decent acrylic for Design 101, the original of which was lost in a move (fortunately, I have a photo of it).
Since I started seriously papercrafting a month ago, I’ve turned out some decent cards and a couple of nice collages. The cards are good, and fun, but they’re not as fulfilling as the collage was to make. I can collage a card, but it just feels different making something I think of as strictly ars gratia artis, rather than an item with another purpose. Now I’m starting on ATCs, or Artist Trading Cards.
I’ve always loved tarot cards and postage stamps, then I got into collectible card games, and collecting trading cards by professional artists like Don Maitz and Thomas Canty. I love that I can hold a tiny work of art in my hand; that I can own and enjoy hundreds of beautiful images that can transport me and elicit emotions and ideas. So I want to try my hand at creating my own.
I made a couple of cards last night. I liked most of the first one, but I knew it wasn’t finished, and the more I looked at it the less I liked it. So I had to figure out how to fix it, and it took some doing, but now I’m happier with it. That made me start thinking about art, and how do you know whether what you’re making is art or not? I think you have to know about art, and you have to study, but a lot of it depends on your aesthetic sense; do you know what looks good? How do you know you’re right?
So I’m buying artist’s magazines right now, and reading about color, and paint, and how it all goes together. Just one more thing to drive R crazy. Makes me wonder what’s next. I read, I write, I dance, I sing, and now I’m an artist? R told me a couple weeks ago she didn’t have time to shop for my birthday (and she really doesn’t right now), and I told her all I really want is for her to let me go nuts in the craft store. I finally convinced her that’s what I really want this year, and it’s not just a nice way of compromising. I’m looking forward to it.
I see all the card kits and packages out there, and ready-made stuff for crafters to add onto their works. I think I must be a purist, though, because I think I’d prefer to use more found objects than bought objects. I love rescuing bygone things from obscurity and resuscitating them. I think it stems from my own obsessive desire to not be forgotten when I’m dead.
I was thinking about my favorite grandma today. I loved her so much. She was my only safe haven in the world and she died when I was eight. When my mother and my brother eventually die, I will be the last living person (that I know of) who remembers my grandma. That makes me sad. When I go, she will be gone too. I’d like one goal of my art to be preserving the people I love in a way that someday, somebody somewhere will at least see them and know them a little, even if they can’t be remembered anymore. I have photos that I can incorporate, and I think I know how to evoke emotion in my art. We shall see.
The other thing I want to express will be my love of autumn and Halloween. I want people to look at my October art and feel warm and fuzzy, and possibly a little creeped out. That’s what Halloween should be. I’m also obsessed with trees in all shapes, sizes, and seasons, and I know that will feature prominently in my art.
